{"id":78,"date":"2026-05-07T10:41:26","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T10:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/?p=78"},"modified":"2026-05-08T07:30:25","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T07:30:25","slug":"fathers-matter-a-national-conversation-on-violence-presence-and-the-men-who-stay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/2026\/05\/07\/fathers-matter-a-national-conversation-on-violence-presence-and-the-men-who-stay\/","title":{"rendered":"Fathers Matter, A National Conversation on Violence, Presence, and the Men Who Stay"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"\"
Pictured: Research shows that positive father involvement helps break cycles of violence. It starts here.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

When Themba Dlamini survived a hijacking, it wasn’t the violence itself that stayed with him longest. It was how young the perpetrators were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Young enough to be my classmates. Young enough to still be someone’s sons,” says Dlamini, a husband, father of four, pastor, chartered accountant, and author of Village Boy: A Memoir of Fatherlessness<\/em>. “And the question that has stayed with me ever since is: where were their fathers?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That question is now at the centre of a broader national conversation being driven by Heartlines through its Fathers Matter programme, a campaign calling on fathers, families, and communities to recognise the role that positive male presence plays in preventing violence before it starts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fathers Matter report makes a pointed argument: violence is not a spontaneous act. It is formed. Research cited in the report suggests that pathways to violence take shape long before any physical incident occurs, emerging in how children experience anger, shame, and conflict in their everyday lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Violence can look sudden, like someone snapped,” says Dlamini. “But it usually grows quietly, in anger that is never named, in shame that is never softened, in boys who were never shown what to do with their strength.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The report notes that children often mirror the behaviours they associate with manhoo, including substance abuse, aggression, bullying, and violence, particularly in school environments. In South Africa, where the dominant response to violence has largely been enforcement and crisis intervention, Heartlines argues that this approach misses something critical: prevention begins much earlier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fathers Matter programme does not shy away from the data. Father absence, the campaign notes, may increase children’s vulnerability to violence, both as victims and, in some cases, as perpetrators. This aligns with existing research linking father absence in South Africa to higher levels of gender-based violence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children who grow up without a positively present father face a range of consequences: feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, and a higher likelihood of engaging in risky behaviours such as substance abuse or gangsterism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The children interviewed during Heartlines’ formative research put it plainly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“When the father is not there, children become resentful, they carry anger,” said one child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Our fathers should make us feel safe around them… some of us are afraid of our fathers, they are always shouting and beating us up,” said another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are not abstract findings. They are the lived experiences of children navigating environments where the foundational lessons of strength, limits, and conflict resolution were never modelled for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Men do not wake up one day and decide to be violent. They are formed. And part of that formation is whether there was someone who helped them understand both their strength and their limits.”<\/strong> – Themba Dlamini<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Heartlines is careful not to reduce a complex crisis to simple blame. The campaign acknowledges the historical and socio-economic forces, migrant labour, poverty, unemployment, that have contributed to patterns of family separation in South Africa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“This is not about blame,” says Dlamini. “It is about invitation. A child does not need a perfect father. They need presence. They need someone who stays.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Critically, the programme extends its definition of fatherhood beyond biology. Uncles, coaches, teachers, and other trusted men can all serve as meaningful role models, particularly where a biological father is absent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The campaign also makes clear that this is not a conversation for men alone. “Women’s voices matter in this conversation,” says Zamabongo Mojalefa, project director at Heartlines. “The way conflict, anger and relationships are handled in the home shapes what children come to see as normal. Supporting positive father involvement, or helping identify other safe male role models where needed, can make a meaningful difference in a child’s life.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through the Fathers Matter programme, Heartlines offers practical tools for men, families, and communities, including the Fathers Matter Coach WhatsApp platform, workshops, and accessible resources designed to support positive fatherhood and mentorship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We do not need fewer men,” says Dlamini. “We need more men who stay.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Themba Dlamini survived a hijacking, it wasn’t the violence itself that stayed with him longest. It was how young the perpetrators were. “Young enough to be my classmates. Young enough to still be someone’s sons,” says Dlamini, a husband, father of four, pastor, chartered accountant, and author of Village Boy: A Memoir of Fatherlessness. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[20,18,16,29,22,30],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-education","tag-csi","tag-csi-news","tag-csr","tag-fathers-in-south-africa","tag-impact-stories","tag-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/81"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/csinews.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}